Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
