dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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