It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
