Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
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I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
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But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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