Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
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He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
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Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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