It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
