I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize