Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
