He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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