i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
my being single is dangerous.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
