How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
