Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
