seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
