Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
