Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
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