It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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