Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Randomize
