So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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