This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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