Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Randomize
