I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
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