i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
