I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
