Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Randomize