Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Randomize
