Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
