just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
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