Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
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hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
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