i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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