so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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