9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize