I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
