Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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