just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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