Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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