I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Randomize
