Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize