i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
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