seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize