is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
