The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
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