So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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