At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Randomize
