Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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