Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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