the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
