two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
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