My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
