no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
then he tried to convert me to islam
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
