im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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