i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
