so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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