playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize