At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
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