Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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