Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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