Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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