Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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