Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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