also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
