My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
