Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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