Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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