shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
