How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
